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 Hypnosis General Discussion
 Why can't I imagine myself as confident at all?
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jem88

8 Posts

Posted - 01/15/2012 :  6:33:17 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am a 23 year old male and have recently started trying guided self hypnosis sessions for confidence, in particular 'instant confidence'. For the first 3 or so days, I found it quite helpful and I did notice an increase in my confidence listening to his CD. However, I've noticed that in any hypnosis, whether it be from McKenna or any other hypnotist, I seem to have an inability to feel confident, period! Often I am asked to return to a memory where I felt confident, and relive it in my mind etc. I never can do this. I can return to the memory but I never feel confient and can never fully relive the feelings no matter how hard (or not) I try.

I have been doing a daily confidence 'workout' as suggested by him that goes something like this.

1. For a minute or so I will imagine a 'timeline' for myself, from now into the future with me achieving my goals. I will make it as bright and vivid as possible. I often feel slightly more positive after doing this but it never goes further than a very slight, subtle sense of positivity.
2. I will try to imagine looking through the eyes of someone that loves me, and then look inthe mirror at myself whilst maintaining that feeling of love for myself. This is extremely hard for me. I just cant do it! I can relatively easily visulise myself lookign through someone elses eyes (such as my girlfriends) at me, but can not conjure the feelings of love at all.
3. I will compliment myself in the mirror with affirmations for a minute or so such as 'I am naturally confident' etc. This has a subtle effect, but often I just don't believe it. I say it, but a deep down part of my mind just dismisses it.
4. I will try to return to a memory of when I was very confident in the past and then link it by touching my two fingers together. I can never get to the point of actually feeling the confidence I felt at the time so never actualy get to the point of 'linking' the feeling.

I really feel at my wits end and would very much appreciate some insight or help as to what might be going wrong, or how I can solve this.

Many thanks

patrickg

USA
724 Posts

Posted - 01/15/2012 :  7:40:26 PM  Show Profile  Visit patrickg's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Because the negative belief you hold about yourself is stronger than the suggestion based audios you have listened to.

Self-hypnosis is not addressing the negative belief in a way that has weakened it enough for the positive suggestions to have affect.

Patrick Glancy, CI, BCH
www.salemhypnosissolutions.com
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jem88

8 Posts

Posted - 01/16/2012 :  04:35:00 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
How can I go about weakening this negative belief about myself? It is obviously a very strong one. If I just keep doing the self hypnosis regardless, whether or not I can actually feel confident whilst doing it, will it in the end work? Repetition?
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patrickg

USA
724 Posts

Posted - 01/16/2012 :  10:24:06 AM  Show Profile  Visit patrickg's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Well, I work with that type of thing in my office using analytical hypnosis techniques. Working to address the foundations for that negative belief - to weaken it or, more often, get rid of it. Then use suggestion to stabilize everything.

You might call around your area and find someone that does this type of work?

Patrick Glancy, CI, BCH
www.salemhypnosissolutions.com
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jem88

8 Posts

Posted - 01/16/2012 :  6:36:44 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
So would I ask around if they do 'anayltical hypnosis techniques' ? What exactly would I specify I'm looking for?

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patrickg

USA
724 Posts

Posted - 01/16/2012 :  6:41:13 PM  Show Profile  Visit patrickg's Homepage  Reply with Quote
In my opinion, I suggest you look for someone that is familiar with hypo-analysis, analytical hypnosis, and Elman... if the hypnotist is aware of those terms and uses the techniques, they can directly address that negative belief.

Patrick Glancy, CI, BCH
www.salemhypnosissolutions.com
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jem88

8 Posts

Posted - 01/17/2012 :  10:08:15 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thankyou, I will get searching soon with your suggestions.

Another question I have is; when I am doing the self hypnosis, I sometimes find myself daydreaming about other things. Then 5 minutes later I'll snap out of it and hear his voice again telling me something like ''I'd like you to imagine what your life would be like etc etc''...and then I feel like I've failed for 'daydreaming' about other subjects such as work etc, and that makes me more awake and less like I'm in a trance kind of state.. any experience with this? What can I do about it? Is it something that will go away with time/practice?
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patrickg

USA
724 Posts

Posted - 01/17/2012 :  12:05:28 PM  Show Profile  Visit patrickg's Homepage  Reply with Quote
If a person is not seeing results from self-hypno efforts, I think it is to be expected that motivation/momentum to continue will start to reduce... and then the mind will wander.

It can get better with practice. And it can get more.. challenging if that practice fails to provide... :/

Patrick Glancy, CI, BCH
www.salemhypnosissolutions.com
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jem88

8 Posts

Posted - 01/18/2012 :  3:40:00 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Is it possible that when I'm like this its whats meant to happen? At the beginning he says 'you dont have to put in any effort at all, just lay back and let the sounds wash over you'. It happened once for almost the entire track and I suddenly found myself 'waking up' as he was counting from ten to one saying 'wake up now' etc.
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patrickg

USA
724 Posts

Posted - 01/27/2012 :  10:24:13 AM  Show Profile  Visit patrickg's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Yes, it is possible. :]

Patrick Glancy, CI, BCH
www.salemhypnosissolutions.com
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jem88

8 Posts

Posted - 02/14/2012 :  12:43:05 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I still have a severe difficulty feeling emotion or experiencing fully an experience in hypnosis whilst visualising. For instance, if they hypnotist asks me to imagine myself with complete confidence in some situation, I can do it quite easily...I can visualise myself acting in a way of complete confidence, although a feeling of confidence NEVER comes along with it. Usually whilst visualising, I am feeling a feeling of fear, such as I would in reality. For instance, a fear of public speaking. I just can't do that in reality, but I can quite easily imagine myself standing infront of thousands of people giving a speech completely fluently. However, a feeling of confidence never accompanies the visualisation and I can't conjure it up either. Usually a feeling of fear accompanies is (as I would be fearful in real life). I can visualise the image of me public speaking for instance, but I can't visualise the 'feeling' or create the feeling of confidence. I have been trying to do this everyday for the past month now (actualy more than that) but have not been able to do it once!
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patrickg

USA
724 Posts

Posted - 02/14/2012 :  12:56:47 PM  Show Profile  Visit patrickg's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Find a good hypnotist.

Patrick Glancy, CI, BCH
www.salemhypnosissolutions.com
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Easywaytochange

3 Posts

Posted - 03/14/2012 :  10:48:48 AM  Show Profile  Visit Easywaytochange's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Can you think of someone else that you know who is confident? You could try imagining becoming infused with anOther persons confidence during self hypnosis. Imagine how ou would look, feel, see, smell and taste as a confident person.

Chloe Brotheridge
www.easywaytochange.co.uk
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gerlie

6 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2012 :  9:43:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You can if you follow a self help program - everything is possible and no-one is inferior!
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andrea15

United Kingdom
72 Posts

Posted - 09/26/2012 :  5:03:16 PM  Show Profile  Visit andrea15's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Hi
It's not unusual to apparently 'stop' listening to a recording if you are playing it over and over. It's almost like you go into a deeper state because your subconscious knows whats coming. You will still be hearing the message on some level.
I agree that you do need hypnoanalysis or analytical hypnotherapy and sometimes referred to as psychodynamic hypnotherapy. I am a hypnoanalyst but in the uk so search and remember to thoroughly check the therapist out and make sure you feel comfortable with them - see my posting on Rant and Rave about choosing a hypnotherapist and check out registers local to you. Remember that it is worth the
effort to travel a little further to find the therapist for you rather than settling for someone because they are3 most convenient.

Andrea Lowe
Hypnotherapist/analyst, NLP Practitioner and trainer
www.AndreaLoweHypnotherapy.co.uk
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seanpatrick

4 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2012 :  07:13:36 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

Jemm88,

It's nice to be able to speak with you in this way. I've never met you or conversed with you before but this is an unique experience for your mind to really work. You said when you listen, your mind begins to drift. You daydream quite thoroughly at times. You can daydream about certain people, places and situations that may offer you many learnings for you to absorb into. You as a person have certain competencies. Things you know for yourself you can do quite well. I wonder how often you wonder what abilities you really possess. .. . When you were a young child, there were things you couldn't do at first. At one point, tying your shoes seem very difficult. Which lace goes over which? How do I make the bow shape? What makes the laces stay put? What about a double knot? All of this was very challenging and you felt that challenge viscerally. But now you can tie your shoes quite comfortably and certainly. That learning has stayed with you for quite some years. It wasn't complicated. You didn't have theories to try to understand as to why you couldn't tie your shoes from a professional. You simply needed to practice until your unconscious understood the learning opportunity it has in front of it. Your unconscious can really begin to work for you in the upcoming minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and so forth. There are things you don't know you know how to know using your mind. There are understandings that would seem quite foreign to you if you knew their origin. Allow the that space to change appropriately unconsciously. You're quite a competent learner. You've learned simple things like tying shoes and complicated things like how to communicate with others. You still have other competencies that you are very aware of. And you can be aware of other competencies. Now, it seems to me, your biggest problem is . .. How do you type on a keyboard? Which finger hits what key at what time? How do you type and look at the screen at the same time? Which muscles do you use for which finger? There are many muscles in each finger. It's very simple. You allow your unconscious to really work for you and can continue to let your unconscious really work for you in the ways most useful to you.

Enjoy your daydreaming about that,

Be well
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TonyM

United Kingdom
21 Posts

Posted - 11/22/2012 :  4:37:08 PM  Show Profile  Visit TonyM's Homepage  Reply with Quote
I think the underlying issue here is what was said earlier, that your beliefs of not being confident outweighs anything else. It's much for difficult to hypnotize someone if what you suggest to them goes against their morals or beliefs.

On another note, you may find more success consulting an expert hypnotherapist.
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andrea15

United Kingdom
72 Posts

Posted - 01/21/2013 :  05:46:20 AM  Show Profile  Visit andrea15's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Try reading this topic:-
http://hypnosisonline.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=1885

Andrea Lowe
Hypnotherapist/analyst, NLP Practitioner and trainer
www.AndreaLoweHypnotherapy.co.uk
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