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Tomo
United Kingdom
20 Posts |
 Posted - 07/01/2004 : 08:44:07 AM
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Hello all,
I've just joined this forum, and I have what I think might be a strange question:
For as long as I can remember, I've been able to make quarrelsome people "go quiet" and leave me alone if they upset or annoy me or get their agreement to things to my advantage in super quick time, even when they don’t know why they’re going along with it. Let me explain with a recent example or two:
Last year, a group of friends and I went to a Chinese restaurant and found that we had two too many people to fit around a banqueting table. The two started to move a smaller table to butt it up against the larger, but the manager wouldn’t let them. I saw her flatly refuse. I went over and within thirty seconds she was helping me carry the damned thing! All I did was fire lots of information at her about the two would-be table carriers then tell her that it would be the best idea in the world to move the table and that it would go back afterwards anyway so where was the harm.
At a party, some strange religious type wouldn’t leave me alone after someone told him I’m an atheist. In the end I asked if he believed that God is omnipotent. He answered yes. So I asked how come He has no say in how I worship him then? How can God be both omnipotent and not omnipotent at the same time? And did he really think that with 6 billion people walking the Earth his sect had the correct way? How exactly did he worship God, etc. etc. Did he really think that this was what God wanted him to do? Didn't some of the things he did seem just a tad silly? Okay, none of this holds theological water, but that’s not the point. The guy simply went quiet and sat down for about an hour, then went for a walk, then came back and seemed lost before finally going home. But he left me the hell alone!
A few weeks back, I was in a club with my sister. Some guy decided that he’d pick on me and kept on at me about whether I’d defend her honour if someone upset her. Basically, he was drunk and out to impress his friends. I told him that of course I would defend her. He laughed and asked how someone as short and meek as me could do that. So I explained that I’d get him on his own and get inside his head. I told him that, despite there being several thousand watts of sound blasting at him and 400 people crammed into the club, inside his head he was always completely alone, utterly incapable of leaving his skull, and that this is how it’d always be. He’d die in there alone regardless of whether his family were with him when the time finally comes or not. There was no escape. I just kept pressing the idea home about loneliness and death and the apparent paradox of personality transcending the cranium while the reality was far more mundane and depressing. After a couple of minutes, I suddenly changed the subject and started wondering about England’s chances for Euro 2004 as he'd been chatting to someone else about it earlier, but he’d glazed over by this time and went for a sit down. About 20 minutes later he said goodbye to his friends and left saying he felt odd. My sister told me off for "talking" to him too! A week later, I saw him at a wedding and he actively avoided me as if he was scared of me. Good, I say!
As a final example, I was in a pro/anti Iraq argument with a friend. I wanted him to shut up about it and change the subject so I said that anti-war protesters can’t also be pro death penalty so they must now want clemency for Saddam or they'd be hypochrites and no better than Bush. He opened his mouth to reply, glazed over and just sat there while I went to the bar. He was still quiet when I came back. I made the same friend forget simple things in another argument once too. He suddenly couldn’t remember Nicaragua, Vietnam or any other countries where one government has influenced another for political gain – and he has a degree in international politics!
My question is: what is it I’ve been doing all these years. I think it has to do with zen questions overloading the available processing capacity in the mind of the target such that conscious thought gets put on a back burner, so to speak, while the target tries to come back with an argument that'll beat mine. Would I be right in thinking that? Am I putting these people into mild trances, and if so what’s the mechanism. I know it works very well. I can do it to practically anyone if I’m sufficiently motivated. I make cold callers sing me songs and things like that too. People also know that if they're having a bad time they can come to me and I'll gently lead them explore the issues and understand them, so perhaps it's a form of conversational hypnosis?
Great forum, by the way. If I can help I’ll try. I’m reading Ormond McGill’s expansive encyclopaedia of stage hypnosis at the moment, but it doesn’t realy help as there’s very little on conversational hypnosis in it. Can anyone recommend any good books dedicated to conversational hypnosis instead? Preferably not e- or vanity published books. My Amazon one-click finger needs some practice.
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ForumMaster
USA
670 Posts |
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Tomo
United Kingdom
20 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2004 : 06:50:49 AM
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Cheers, mate. I'll have a look.
Can anyone shed any light on what I've told you so far, though? |
Edited by - Tomo on 07/03/2004 11:18:10 AM |
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anthony
Canada
305 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2004 : 9:09:26 PM
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| Why does it need to have a name? If it comes naturally, works well for you, and harms nobody else, just keep doing it, and don't worry about giving it a name. In certain cultures, there is no name for anger so people are never angry...Anthony |
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Tomo
United Kingdom
20 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2004 : 06:49:37 AM
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| That's an intersting idea, Anthony, but "buggering about with people's heads" as a few friends call it seems a little unkind. |
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Tomo
United Kingdom
20 Posts |
Posted - 07/05/2004 : 10:34:03 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by anthony
Why does it need to have a name? If it comes naturally, works well for you, and harms nobody else, just keep doing it, and don't worry about giving it a name. In certain cultures, there is no name for anger so people are never angry...Anthony
Interestingly enough, I was talking to someone last night who's seen me do "it" and they said that it just looks like I make statements that the subject can't really disagree with that gradually takes them to a place where they get into a mental muddle. That would fit in with my theory about the final "zen question" in the chain taking up massive amounts of mental processing that shuts a person down.
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anthony
Canada
305 Posts |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 12:07:12 AM
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You speak of buggering about with peoples heads as if it were something shamefull, yet all of us do it every day, and have it done to us also.
My statement was,"so long as it harms nobody" was it not? All too often, the buggering does do harm, and that is indeed shameful, but if done without harm, your idea that it is wrong, is in my opinion muddled thinking. Giving a name to it by the way, would seem to limit it more than needed. Your discription of what seems to occur makes sense to me, but it would be without a name in that case, and relate to what I said at the begining of this post...Anthony. |
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Tomo
United Kingdom
20 Posts |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 04:14:34 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by anthony
You speak of buggering about with peoples heads as if it were something shamefull, yet all of us do it every day, and have it done to us also.
Woah! Go previous. 
I'm not ashamed. Don't get me wrong. It's a useful life skill that started when I was bullied as a child. I'm just interested in how it works, and if it's a recognised technique.
It tends to happen when someone threatens me, and it's nature is usually retaliatory, but at the other end of the spectrum I've also taken people in the kitchen at parties on wild comedy journeys with it too, where no one knows what the hell they're laughing at.
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soporific
New Zealand
2 Posts |
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Can anyone explain what it is I've been doing?
