| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| tinadee |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 10:13:17 AM
I have many bad memories as a child from the ages from 3-10 years old that are not clear. I don't just want my"impressions " of what happened i just want the facts. I do see a pschoanlysist on a regular basis, we don't focus on the past because it to cloudy and disturbing, we work on making things better. I want to know if i will ever really know the truth and i would also like to know how to find a good hypnotherapist with references. Since i have many issues around my childhood i don't want anyone to just go poking around in there. I'm pretty stable i'm going to nursing school and will be taking the summer off. I think this is a good time in case i have any difficulties. I'm also so a student so right now i'm poor, are there set fees? Oh the other question is how long would it take to cover 7 years of memories. I realy don't have another 7 years to invest in one of the worst times in my life.
I believe by just know the truth it will set me free. I'm not a real fan of freud but alot of my childhood experiences have caused many difficulties in my adult life that i would like to get over. Low-self esteem, lack of asssertiveness, depression and some sexual disfunction. I don't know if hypnosis would actually be good for me.
I have always wounder about hypnosis but last night the dreams really brough things back. I take medicine to lessen the nightmare, they have decreased but i still get disturbing and twisted dreams that i know are not real, or almost know. I 'm hoping this will help.
Thank you for considering my questions
Tina |
| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| tinadee |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 5:32:51 PM
well if it wasn't illegal i probably would marry you but i'm already married to the first man who asked me and i was quite lucky he is a great man. I am awsys looking for answers about myself and the way things are and about the future. I have gone back to my chilhood religion and have discovered it's not what i remembered and enjoy it with all my heart. I have looked at the tarot and practiced a little and really found that i could make the cards say anything i wanted. With my religoins of the world i have discovered i really like buddhaism, i have read a book on the I ching and found it more confusing than ever.
I also have learned to laugh and be happy but i know this is due to the greatness of my husband and fear the day he will leave me. He's older than i and so i no this will happen, i just don't know when. So while my life is very happy now, istill have problems with assertiveness, self-worth and depression and all kinds of litle annoying characteristics I just fraid without his help i would evert to a darker time in my life.
I also understand your little game about picking out blue things. I do know and haved learned that the mind is a complicated thing, but never really applied to my memory.
I quess learning the truth, i feel i will be able to overcome many of my feeling of inadequacy. But in reality i think it's just wishful think on my part. Sort of a magic pil that will make me perfect, likeable to others and my self. But i kind of know people like me, it just i afraid to like them back.
Thank of your advice, it has been most helpful. Perhaps when searhing the web i should search for something that is more proactive. Like Religion or not what is the meaning of lifei is but how to make it better.
I have also been reading psychiatric research and papers today on hypnosis, and come to realize some of the danger that could come from exploring to deep.
But i wonder if i could be hypnitosed and implanted with either my forgotten happy memories and fake new ones?
Thank any how you've been very kind to listen to a crazy woman ramble about things i probably would be better off in forgetting any way.
It's the dreams that keep haunting me, some based on fact some not. My shrink said that dreams are made up of some memories, some from things we have read or watch on tv and some just from are imagination. I read a posting about dreams and i really don't want to alter them because i couldn't tak it if i had the opposite affect.
thanks |
| Matrixman |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 3:27:36 PM
Hi Tina
My questions were for consideration, as when we ask our selves, types of questions, it at times gives us an opening, in how we encode the world, we have five primary senses, that create the way in which we see, hear, feel, smell and taste the world, and there lays, the possible issues, because our brain, generalizes, distorts, and deletes, huge amounts of raw data.
Then any clarifications that you would make now, would be subject, to emotional displacements, of deletion, generalization and distortion, to what did or did not happen, our brain works, in a very simple way,.
If you would play along, I can show you what I mean. if you read that I am about to say then do what you have read, then it will give you just one idea, as to how brains work.
In the room your in right now, close your eyes, and in your imagination, recreate the room your in, doors windows, chairs, and everything else in the room, now think of all the colours and in particular everything that is blue. In this room, open your eyes and what happened, in most cases all the blues items, would of jumped out, this is focus of attention and association, the very set of processes your brain does, to have you think about your history, in what ever way to look at it.
My only wish is that you are safe and happy, and that sometimes, letting things go is just sometimes the best way to go.
I went through, a really tough time when I was growing up, and all I every want for anyone who has had to deal with abuse, is to be free from pain, Richard Bandler as a saying that goes “its never to late to have a happy child hood“, as we can change the encoding to how we see hear and feel the world, and we build it from the right now, and take the resources to the times and places, in our brain, it does not change what happen, it takes the emotional energy away and creates, a powerful and confident self.
I hope you find the peace and that your heart can heal, and you become, a focused and happy or happier human being.
One more question how long have you been looking for clarifications? Oops one more and in how many places? Oops did you find what you was looking for out there in the world? Oops sorry look at how far you have come, and be happy for being who you are now. You can’t say NO? is that so ? Cool this should be really easy, can we get married? |
| HypnoDoc |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 3:25:39 PM
Hello,
You are on medication and under an ongoing program of Psychoanalysis - I doubt any ethical Hypnosis Professional will go anywhere near your requests.
You join a very large group when you decide to tackle the "What is life all about" question. The list ranges from all the great thinkers of mankind to the 211 million returns on Google when you do a search for "Meaning of Life." Everyone is in the search and it would appear no one really has the definitive answer.
Anthony has answered your question spot on. Many imagined memories can be just as convincing as real ones.
Stick with your current programs and don't try to take on too much at one time.
|
| mark-gil |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 3:03:10 PM
As a child, I was beaten every weekend by an alcholic father
and condemned and criticized by my mother constantly. I left home st sixteen to escape the abuse and through the Grace of God I survived, lived a full life, served in the U.S. Navy for 4 tears in WW2.
I was a high school dropout and now I have Doctoral Degrees from three Universities (Honorary). I have never been able to remember anything below the age of ten. You seem to be frantically searching in many different philosophies for the meaning of your life.You repeatedly speak of feeling guilty--it could be mixed with shame. Guilt is feelings about what you believe you have done--shame is your beliefs about what kind of person you are. I agree, when you go to a person who offers numerous practices, it is like a menu in a deli-- "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TODAY? Search out an older hypnotherapist of long experience who specializes ONLY in classical hypnotherapy (not pure suggestion therapy). Interrupt your courses and your endless soul searching--You seem to be wandering in the dark. Clinical hypnotherapy can let in the light.
I wish you well in your search. With Respect, Gil Boyne |
| tinadee |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 2:46:40 PM
Yes those are some serioues questions and i'm just looking for answers. Was i a sexually precostious child. Did i initiate these acts. Was it that i couldn't say no, and is that why i can't say no know?
1. If i wasn't abused i could work on why i have problems in my life today. Is ther another reason for everything and maybe i can fix it.
2. Are you saying that these filters will not let me see things as they actaully where. In that case i don't want to rehash the junk that i already remember and focus more on just quitting smoking.
3. I'm already working on being ok with out clarifiacation, but i still feel guilty. I feel doubt about all my memories about the abuse, the relationship with my mother I just want me to remember what was said to me before the act how i felt, did my mother really have cause to beat the crap out of me? Where the beatings even that bad?
( my mother passed away 3 months ago and i started taking this course for school human growth and development. Talking about freud erikson, piaget and many others. I had to do two projects about my own developmental milestones and this is why i began to doubt my memories. I took care of my mother who got physically sick when i was 15 and have been taking care of her since. When writting my paper and mapping out my entire life span, i could not remember any happy memories that have occured. I also felt incredibly guilty for trashing my mother for the things that she did that were much less than perfect, especcially now that she's gone. I know she loved my and did her best I have actually have been experience the best years of my life for the last 3 years.)
4. Would i be ok without clarification? I'm not sure. I think i would be better with it. I would continue to feel guilty and still would have no happy memories. I went to disney when i was about 9-10, i don't remember anything except the pool. I have picture of me doing all kinds of things. Clarification would not only help me put the bad things into perspective but the good things as well.
5. What would clarification not give me. i supposed if it was extremely "filter(?)" nothing, if i could get aclear picture of the good or the bad.
But even without clarification i would have to accept that there will be things that i will never have answers to and i did all i could and would have to close the book on that part of my life.
6. How would i like to look at my past?
Is this a realist way or through a magic looking glass. Perhaps i could ask my abusers, but most are in jail and some i think are dead. They lived fast and died hard. I would also guess they would have a slanted view of things simiular to the way i do. Another girl who experienced the same things as me but only it was her four brothers who she lived with which was so much worse. I can't even talk to her because : i'm afrid of her brothers and she's a junky, last i heard about 10 years ago.
I know i have been blessed in many ways, i didn't get lost in drugs, i had a mother who really tried and i'm alive and married to a great man.
Of course the best would be to travel through time, not to change anything"butterfly effect" but i know that would be the only true way of seeing things exactly the way they where.
I have looked up hynotherapists in my area and most focus on quitting something or reike. Which i do believe, i'm also taking a religions of the world class which has sparked my interest in Buddhaism and chi. So in conclusion if i can not find the truth. I will learn to be present in the moment and mindful of the life i'm living today. |
| Matrixman |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 1:57:09 PM
It's not that i don't have any memory of the events it just I want clarification on the events.
What would give you clarification for the events?
It seems to me that you have all the clarifications that you need.
Hi as you know, memory is constructed, via our subjective experience, so the clarification that you are looking for is going to be constructed, within the filters, that you have encoded, your life experiences you have had, what would clarification give you?
And how do you know that?
What would happen if you allowed it be ok with out clarification?
What would happen if you didn’t get clarification?
What would clarification not give you?
How would you like to be looking at your past? If you could choose any other way. |
| tinadee |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 1:19:22 PM
I should have made my self a little clearer. First thank you for replying to my message. It's not that i don't have any memory of the events it just i want clarification on the events. First i have BA in psych/soc and i have worked with adults with pscy and dev issues and i understand that people often blame themselves for abuse that has happened as a child. I know in my mind that a four year old is not to blame, yet i feel a sense of incredible responsibility. I sometimes feel that i have caused the abuse because of the many people in my life who have abused me. Did i do something to cause this. The other thing is that perhaps i have over exaggerated the facts. Was it just childhood exploration, i believe it is to a degree. By as the age gap widens i find it difficult to expect. I also kind of have this feeling that my father abused me, it just like an gnawing question. I know he was cruel and physically and emotionally abusive, but sexually? I think this is just because of a picture of the two of us in the bath tub, it makes me very uncomfortable.
While i think most of my memory is intact, there are somethings that are very clear.
I was also exposed to marjuana at the age of 4 or seven, believe it or not. I've read other statements about drugs affect your memory and interfering with hypnosis.
The answers could be good that alot of the guilt and torment i have put myself through was clearly a waste of my energy or that yes i was abused and no it wasn't my fault or maybe it was. The thing is i would have a reason for being the way i am and could actually work on improving my life. It's not just because i'm just crazy it because my environment as made it so.
As you may have already found out i'm a little unsual and what some might call different. To look at me you wouldn't get that impression but i would say if i was treating myself that i do have some problems but they are fixable.
Thank you so much for you feedback.
They other thing is i'm not a "what if "person. I know there is nothing i could ever do to change my past i can only shape the present and the future. I also realize that i have many good qualities and even the bad things have made me who i am today. If i could erase even one bad thing i would not be me.
I don't want to change the past, just to look at it in a different way. |
| anthony |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 11:25:42 AM
In reply to your queries. No, there are no set fees, some practitioners are like me, and do a great deal of research, so we are alway looking for volunteers to use in this work, and frequently are willing to do a deal with a prospective client. However, you say you are seeing a psycologist, and for me that would be a clincher, since ethics forbids that I interfer with another professional, and I would not accept you as my client during that time, nor would anyone who has the skills you need. Finally, you say knowledge would set you free, but I must tell you this is not so. Knowledge may be real or imagined, and still have an effect on you, so an experienced and skilled practitiioner would be needed, and you have no guaranttee that you will find such in your area..Exposing a problem is only a first step, you then require skilled therapy to eradicate the harm done, so I suggest you wait until you find that thoughts on this are interfering with your life to the point that you MUST act. Meantime, keep your eyes and ears open to locate someone you feel you can trust with your life, because that is what you will be doing........ |
| Matrixman |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 10:49:03 AM
Hi Tina ok first of all i my self have a phobic repsonce pschoanlysist, yet i wont let that stop me from replying, what happened may not have been good, yet what you have to consider is, will finding out make your life woth while or will is mess you up. our brains have a way of looking after us, by stopping thoughts, from running in our minds, now as you are doing so well, would it not be better to leave, your past way behind, and get on with having a lovely rest of your life. i my seld did not have a very good life when i wasa kid, and i choose, to let it be, and move on, as for the truth setting you free, what happens if there is no truth, and it was placed there by the ideas of others. Tina, what ****s people up more then anything is searching and time wasting, when you could be having lots of fun and enjoying life. the past is there for a reason, you only have the right now, so live it. the only reason why its taking so much of your time is cos your not doing the things that will make your life wonderful. read the articles at these web sites. and use the tools. and if you feel you still need to look at hypnosis to do what ever you are looking at then. you have that option. www.emofree.com www.nlpu.com www.neurosemantics.com i hope they serve you well. and if you ever need some one to hello then you can do that at check my profile. and i will be happy to say hello. |
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